Wide awake? 5 tips to better sleep for girls
Bedtime in our house has always been a challenge. Our daughter just does not like to go to bed. Lately, there have been several evenings when she has said, “I’m tired, Mom, but I can’t fall asleep.”
I can relate. I am a night owl, and my brain seems to be its most active and creative in the late evening hours. For our daughter, it is likely a combo of a busy mind, natural changes that are happening as she gets older, and perhaps some anxiety.
According to the National Sleep Foundation, biological sleep patterns shift toward later times for sleeping and waking during adolescence; this is often complicated by irregular schedules such as sleeping in on the weekends. Poor sleep patterns in the pre-teen and teen years, can continue into adulthood. During the pandemic, sleep is even more critical to keep our girls’ immune systems strong and reduce anxiety and stress.
So how much sleep do our girls need?
With all this in mind, I did some research to pull together five tips to help your girl (and you!) fall asleep a bit easier. Please do keep in mind that some children struggle with sleep disorders such as sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, insomnia, or narcolepsy. If you are concerned, it is important to check with your child’s doctor.
Set her room up for sleep.
For many girls, their bedroom is the only personal space they have in the house, so it can be easy to want to do lots of things in there – screen time, art and crafts, reading, dancing and more. When bedtime rolls around, though, the more peaceful the space, the better the sleep. Consider adding a chair, bean bag or other piece of furniture where she can relax and unwind before climbing into bed. Reserve her bed for sleeping. A dark, cool and quiet room will help her fall asleep easier. Keep distractions and stimulation to a minimum – charge her phone in the other room and keep the music and sound machines off (some believe these can be stimulating). If you want to take it one step further, you can look to Feng Shui for tips on things like bed placement and room colors.
Create calm around her.
In the hours leading up to bedtime, foster a time of relaxation and calm. Dim the lights, turn off screens, put homework away and avoid other things that get her brain going. Help her identify the things that help her mind and body relax.
Tap into her natural rhythm.
Her body and internal clock like to follow a routine. Try to stay consistent throughout the week with a regular go-to-sleep time and wake-up time, even on the weekends – try not to veer off course by more than an hour of these times. This will help her body fall into a natural rhythm and make it easier to fall asleep (and wake up). Support her rhythm further with low light and no screens in the evening before bed and bright, natural light in the morning.
Make space for her to clear her head.
Our girls have a lot on their minds. If your girl’s brain is anything like mine, it will kick into overdrive once the day starts to wind down. Build some time into your routine to sit and talk or go for a walk – setting aside regular time with her to share her thoughts and talk through any problems will help her settle her mind and create connection. Or, if she is not up for conversation, writing in a journal or making a to-do list can help get those worries or thoughts out of her mind and make way for a better night’s sleep.
Let her know that sometimes sleep is hard.
On average, it takes people 10 to 20 minutes to fall asleep, but sometimes it can take up to an hour. So be sure she knows not to put pressure on herself if sleep takes a little while. For those tougher nights, here are some things she can try:
Breathing exercises. My favorite is elevator breathing or the 4-7-8 technique. Usually, the next morning, I can only remember doing 2-3 rounds
Paradoxical intention. When she is trying hard to sleep, it can create stress. Research has shown that telling herself to stay awake can help her fall asleep faster.
Visual a calm place. What place is the most calming for her? Engaging her active brain and imagination in a different way can be helpful.
There are lots of sleep tips out there, the key is to try things out and find what works best for your girl. Here are some resources to help you learn more about adolescent sleep patterns and the importance of sleep to their growing minds and bodies.
Sleep Guidelines During the COVID-19 Pandemic, National Sleep Foundation
Sleep and Teens, UCLA Health
Teenagers and Sleep, Johns Hopkins Medical Center
Sleep and Sleep Disorders, Centers for Disease Control
Parents aren't powerless when it comes to sleep-deprived teenagers, Science Daily